Piranha 3D

I don’t normally watch movies like this. Especially not in theaters. The closest I’ve seen is Jaws, which is one of the reasons I decided to see this one, since it pays homage to Jaws quite a bit. The opening scene features Richard Dreyfuss as Matt Hooper from said film, and then basically takes the opening scene from Jaws and multiplies it by a thousand.

While it takes nearly all of its cues from schlockfests of yesteryear, I don’t consider it schlock. It’s really a quality collection of homage and pulp in an exciting package. The nearly endless supply of womanly bits doesn’t hurt in the least, of course, especially in THE 3RD DIMENSION. There’s a couple other great cameos too, like Christopher Lloyd as the crazed marine biologist, and Eli Roth as a somewhat nameless but hilariously disposed red-shirt. The acting from the main cast isn’t really anything special but they kept me entertained.

The story really doesn’t merit any sort of mention, and that’s okay! It’s not the kind of movie you watch for intellectual stimulation. Most of the plot points rely on human stupidity that is so rampant in movies like this. Otherwise it’s just a visual feast of usually tolerable gore amidst a sea of swaying mammaries. Fun!

I have to say though, this is the first 3D movie I’ve seen that was post-converted, and I was disgusted by that aspect most of the time. The CGI bits were just fine, but there were just so many moments in the live-action parts that just made my head spin or looked downright awful. There’s a scene with a depth-of-field-blurred chain-link fence that’s just horrendous. This crap needs to stop.